Thursday, June 01, 2006

War on Santa

Go to summary

Santa Claus is a jolly figure who brings toy to all the good christian children of the world, or so says his propaganda.
Johnathan is a good little christian boy in Somalia, do you think Santa will bring him an X-Box this year? No, that would be cruel, because Johnathan has no electricity and starves 9 months out of the year. Do you think Santa will instead bring him a year 's supply of food? Or even just a pump for the well?
No, Becasue Santa cares more for rich kids, good or bad, than he does poor kids.
This demigod chooses to inject billions of dollars into rich western economies, while flying over millions of starving children to do it. This bears repeating: Santa actively ignores the sufferings and impending deaths of millions of children.
This is nothing less than a crime against humanity, and he does this on Christmas day!
Put blunty, this guy needs to be brought down, but how?
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
Faith, above all, is the terrain on which we battle. We must tear apart Santa's unseen campaing of injustice. We must deny him the faith of his
beneficiaries. We must out him as a fraud, publicly, to children. The chilrden will cry, they will lament the loss of their imaginary friend, and worry about the fate of next year's presents. They will begin to distrust the calming tales of their parents, and resent the past naughty/nice emotional manipulation. They will, with our help, grow supiscious of the perversions of fat men in red suits.
The intent of all this, of course, is to piss off their parents.
Parents like their kids to be imaginative, and to grow up like they did. They appreciate the edge that the naughty/nice list gives them in November and December. Most of all, every decent parent wants their children to be emotionally well adjusted.
By traumatically disrupting the conscious and subconscious mythos of their children, we threaten parents' confidence in that emotional stability. We will make it clear that these disruptions will continue until 'Santa' tends to the needs of impoverished chlidren globally. If we can get little Suzie iwantapony to wet her bed every night for two weeks, we can be confident that our anti-Santa message has been recieved.
This may seem unwaranted, but this is a war. We must remember that Suzie and her parents do not deserve these comforting myths while little Johnathan is lying infected and starving in some mudhole.
We have a duty to destroy Santa at every turn. Remember that many of these kids can read. Flyers can be printed, and signs posted in high traffic areas. In most western countries, you have a right to protest near schools and on bus routes. Short videos can be made and aired on public access television.
Remember that every child you reach may tell hundreds of classmates. This should be encouraged, but care must be taken that the re-tellings are as traumatic as possible. I would tentatively suggest including the message that anyone who still believes in Santa Claus is stupid or babyish.


Santa perpetuates the global divide between rich and poor.
Santa is only as real as western childrens' belief in him.
By denying western children such psychological comforts, their parents can be coerced into solving the problem of global poverty.
If needed other psychological operations against rich western children can be activated. Possible messages include:
(Note: whenever possible, graphic photos should be shown.)
  • Obviously, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are also lies.
  • What happens to a person in a bad car accident.
  • What happened during the holocaust.
  • What an aborted fetus looks like.
  • Historical evils of the area's dominant religions, or compelling (to children) refutations of them.
We must promote harsh truths until the severe harshness of reality is corrected. When the poor can live comfortably, the rich can have comforting myths.
The complacency and misanthropy of 'Santa' must not be allowed to continue eternally. If not now, when?
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
If you needed any more convincing, these are the words of Santa's greatest propagandist. Hitler only wanted ten thousand years, Santa is ten times worse than Hitler.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

John Titor

Although there is debate over the exact date it started, on November 02, 2000, a person calling themselves Timetravel_0, and later John Titor, started posting on a public forum that he was a time traveler from the year 2036.
On March 21, 2001, John Titor told us he would be leaving our time and returning to 2036. After that, he was never heard from again. Speculation and investigation about who John Titor was and why he was online continues to this day.
Although it may be easy to dismiss all this as science fiction, most people who read his posts agree that there is something very haunting about John Titor and what he said. In addition, and open to more debate, he also made a series of predictions and comments that eerily seem to be coming true.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


"...they become absorbed in forming a sphere, and they put all their energy into polishing the ball until it sparkles. The dorodango soon becomes the child's greatest treasure. "
Japanese Mudballs

Monday, March 13, 2006

What do these words mean to you?

Radio Controlled Centipede Steam Engine
Believe it or not, those words actually go together in that order.

This is the kind of thing you'd expect to come out of a parallel universe.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Beware Panopticon Theology

Over two hundred year ago, Jeremy Bentham invented the Panopticon. It was a prison structure that allowed secret surveilance, in order to minimize the number of guards required. A prisoner would never know if he was being watched by a guard in the central tower, and so they would always maintain good behavior.
The ultimate goal of the Panopticon was to subject prisoners to a percieved omniscience. This 'Godlike' all-seeing-eye and corresponding punishment would keep people in line, but is God like that? I don't think so.
First of all, this kind of constant surveilance is extremely dehumanizing. It's the kind of thing that they would have done to criminals, hundreds of years ago. The idea that someone is always out there watching you and constantly waiting for you to make a mistake so they can hold you responsible makes it impossible to relax, to be fully human. Humans need privacy, and we are smart enough to give each other privacy, God is smart enough too.
Further, this model tends to discourage advancement to higher stages of moral development. Young children often conclude that wrong actions are things they get punished for, as they develop they come to understand that an action might still be wrong, even if no one sees, and even if they are not punished.
The concept that God is always watching and that you will be held acountable is a factor that enables stagnation at this low level of moral reasoning, well into adulthood. People must be inspired to find more elegant ways to discover morality.
Lastly, this completely ignores God's forgiveness and love. God is not a prison guard, and that is not an image that sould be promoted. Panopticon Theology is inherently adversarial, and God is not our adversary.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Radical Islam

A group of Muslims calling itself Al-jabru ("restoration" in Arabic) vows to bring about a return to a period of Islamic global dominance. Inspired by the writings of the ancient teacher al-Khwarizmi, the group is gathering strength by teaching advanced subjects in the madrassas, and even actively translating western technical documents into arabic.
"We call upon all muslims to ijtihad, in this way we shall surpass the west."

Sunday, February 19, 2006


"I support President Bush's goal of spreading Liberal Democracy"